I am in a distant country right now and feel as if I am not showing up for my mom as I should.ĭo you think that I should fly back to the United States or finish out the rest of the three weeks that I have left in my program?ĭEAR SICK MOM: Get in touch with family and friends who can reach your mother. It turns out she had had a relapse, and by the time she got to the doctor, she couldn’t even walk. I was really worried, so I advised her to go to the hospital. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me the new medication she switched to for her multiple sclerosis has been making her feel sick. Her facial muscles were very relaxed on one side of her face as if she had had a stroke. When she picked up her phone, I immediately recognized something was wrong. Directly saying no can often salvage relationships and feelings.ĭEAR HARRIETTE: I am studying abroad currently, and I recently video-called my mom to see how she was doing. Next time, play out the scenario in your mind all the way to the end to see what makes sense before you jump through hoops for someone. If you want to stay friends with her, forgive her for being selfish. Acknowledge that you both wanted to see each other, but that moment didn’t work at all. Yes, you can tell her how frustrating that situation was. Your efforts to assuage her ended up backfiring on you. DEAR CONFLICT WITH FRIEND: Your friend made a selfish, erratic move.
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